Stress management is individualized, but there are some coping commonalities.
You can read the originally-published article at Psychology Today.
Key points:
Managing stress effectively involves both leaning in and letting go.
Stress is a broad term referenced liberally in modern times. There may be short-term or acute stress situations, like running late for a meeting or being over-committed with too many responsibilities in a week, and there can be long-term or more serious situations, such as dealing with relationship problems or a chronic illness.
Stress is a common human condition. Moderate levels of short-term stress can be beneficial and can sometimes even help with accomplishments. However, ongoing stress that interferes with daily living can be dangerous if maintained at high levels for extended periods and if not properly managed. Stress can cause people to feel overwhelmed or pushed to the limit of their capacity to cope, affecting various physical and psychological domains.
Stress Relief Begins with Getting REALL
Each person’s stressful situation is naturally unique, and so each person must create individualized plans to manage their stress effectively. Like finding comfortable clothing, there needs to be a goodness of fit.
But there are some basic elements for relieving stress that can be applied universally. These elements are proposed here in the form of an acronym to help remind us of five key areas for approaching stress: REALL. Each of the letters stands for specific ideas, but the overall concept of getting real also reminds us to get back to the basics. Many stress management tools don’t require fancy tools but rather more authentic, down-to-earth self-care.
R Is for Rest
When a lot is going on in someone’s life, it is often difficult to rest or sleep. It is critical to take breaks, especially during times of higher distress when adrenaline and cortisol are likely heightened and causing more impact on the body. Someone may be overwhelmed when they are stressed and feel that they can’t rest because there is simply too much to do; however, we humans need to work more effectively with time rather than struggling against it.
Getting regular intervals of sleep is naturally a very critical part of resting as well. Sleep has been likened to the time when the brain waste gets cleaned, similar to how a washing machine removes dirt from clothing. It is not uncommon for those struggling with stress to be sleeping less well; however, poor sleep then unfortunately can lead to more negative interference. With too little sleep, the body accumulates a “sleep debt” which must be eventually paid off. Keeping up with – or getting back to – regular sleep-wake routines during stressful times is critical.
E Is for Eating
We naturally all need to eat every day, multiple times per day. It is interesting to note, however, that individuals under stress often do not attend to this basic need as effectively as would be ideal. Keeping up regular meals, even if the appetite is affected, is critical. The usual pleasure in eating may be temporarily diminished or even artificially increased (which some people call stress eating), but attending to regular, mindful eating – even if it is more mechanical for a while – will have far-reaching benefits. Like it or not, the gas tank needs to be filled.
The moderate approach, which holds true as a key for day-to-day living, is even more critical during times of stress. Our bodies need nutrients to perform daily functions and stay healthy; under stress, our bodies need energy and nutrients even more. No single food can provide all the nutrients that the body needs, so it's important to have varied and well-balanced meals. Aiming to focus more on food for nourishment and enjoyment is the primary aim.
A Is for Air
Attention to proper breathing is especially critical during times of stress. Breathing well is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. By practicing calming breaths, we are activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn is highly effective in helping to calm heart rates, the nervous system, and the mind. Breathing well not only helps during the day but also is the key to sleeping well and waking up feeling rested.
Better breathing won’t take away the stressful situation at hand but can assist in diminishing the impact of stress. Mindfully attending to breathing in and out, slowly and surely, on a regular basis, is not always simple, but is a tool we can always turn to at any moment of the day. And contrary to popular belief, lengthening the exhale is often more important than the inhale.
Leaning In
During times of stress, we need to lean in. Taking decisive actions is much more helpful in the long run than continuously fretting, detaching from problems, ignoring stresses, or simply wishing they would just go away. It’s often helpful to visualize what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. If we are hiking up a mountain, we lean forward to manage the tough terrain; leaning back would likely lead to imbalance and frequent falling to the ground.
Leaning in naturally means different things for different situations, but the basic idea is that being active instead of passive helps in more effectively managing stress. In some circumstances, this may mean thinking about possible solutions to the current problems and deciding on realistic goals to achieve. Action can even be a small accomplishment amid stress, such as doing a load of laundry, paying a bill, or taking one baby step toward a massive clean-up project. Actions can be physical, such as taking a walk, showering, or drinking more water, and they can also be cognitive, such as actively considering how to adopt a more optimistic outlook or making to-do lists. Leaning in by leaning on loved ones also can be helpful, as having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family is especially helpful during times of stress.
Letting Go
We also need to let go. We may not be able to change the fact that highly stressful events are happening, but we can change how we interpret and respond to them. There can be value in processing and validating distress; however, worrying excessively or obsessing circularly keeps us stuck. We sometimes must step off that out-of-control Ferris wheel.
Letting go can look different in various situations. It may mean staying more in the here-and-now to avoid blowing the event out of proportion with what-if questions; it can also involve looking forward to future circumstances, which may be a little better, even if we aren’t sure how or when this might unfold. Accepting circumstances that cannot be currently changed can help to focus on circumstances that can change. Finding ways to turn away from ruminating on negative thoughts and feelings, at least temporarily, can be helpful, such as through positive, joyful distractions. Letting go is, after all, part of the journey of managing stress.