Note: This article, by Dr. Sandra Wartski, Psy.D, was originally published in Psychology Today.
Seeking and striving for balance in life activities supports good mental health.
Key points:
We live in a society that often supports and sometimes even promotes extremes. From workaholics to bed rot, the expectation of being uber-productive or sinking into the comfort of being a couch potato swirls around us in confusing, frantic ways. Swinging like a pendulum from one side to the other might sometimes be invigorating or exciting, but this is one-sided and overwhelming in the long run.
As with so many things in life, the notion of balance over the extremes is so much more appropriate, healthy, and sustainable. Moderation may feel more ho-hum boring at times, but the not-too-much and not-too-little is almost always better than either extreme overall. The Goldilocks principle of finding the just-right, middle-ground approach is something toward which we can strive. This principle naturally applies to the basics of eating, sleeping, and movement; however, applying balance to a broader perspective of activities is also valuable.
The acronym of ACE is a way that I find helpful to consider the balance of three primary domains of activities in daily life: accomplishment, connection, and enjoyment. It can be pictured like a pie chart divided into three pieces, suggesting a generally more balanced approach to including a wide variety of activities on most days. When we are able to have some portion of our day focused on accomplishment but also have time for connection and enjoyment, we are generally more centered and grounded. This is not an exact science, naturally varying from person to person and day to day. There are times when our ACE pie chart might lean more heavily in one domain, being affected by factors such as sickness, work deadlines, or vacations, but, overall, striving for balance is beneficial for our well-being.
Accomplishment
Having some kind of accomplishment in our days gives us focus, purpose, and pride. Individuals vary in terms of their situations, needs, and capacity for accomplishment. There is not a set number of hours or tasks to be accomplished, but rather, the idea is to have a sense of meaningful achievement as much as possible on most days. Purpose can come through work, volunteering, household tasks, errands, or any number of other activities; it is defined by the person who knows their own life best, and so the accomplishment can include tasks as varied as completing work deadlines, doing the dishes, reading a chapter, or making the dreaded phone call. Individuals who have some striving toward goals and completion of their goals tend to be more emotionally happy and healthy.
Connection
Humans are social beings, and the importance of having some sort of regular connection with other humans has been supported repeatedly through sociological research. There is a reason that isolation is used as a means of punishment or torture in prisons and prisoner-of-war camps. We know that extraverts "fill their battery" through social contact, but even individuals who might be considered more introverted or private can benefit from the healing properties of social connection. There is no formula in terms of amount of time or numbers of contacts, as this is very individualized, but the ideal focus is on finding ways to engage with others on more days than not. Sometimes the others might be family or friends, but even interactions with a cashier or a neighbor on the sidewalk can be surprisingly uplifting. Although in-person contact has many benefits, having phone calls, emails, or texts also counts as contact. Sharing a moment of connection or shared reflection often helps us to feel less alone, and this improves our mental health.
Enjoyment
As children, we are allowed to be playful and joyous so much of the time, but adults sometimes leave this out of their daily lives. It is not realistic that we can have continuous "adult recess" time, and grown-up tasks are not always enjoyable, but individuals finding small moments of relaxation, joy, and contentment in most every day is highly recommended. We won't get to have the same amounts or types of open-ended enjoyment that children hopefully are afforded on a more regular basis, but all adults are encouraged to find ways to add enjoyment in small or large ways regularly. This can be used as an incentive for completion of other tasks, can be in combination with other domains, or can be simply enjoyed for the sole purpose of the pursuit of positivity to be infused into most days.
ACE Up Your Sleeve
The notion of striving for balance is a simple but powerful plan. This concept of “ace up your sleeve” originated from card games where players would hide an ace (the highest-ranking card) in their sleeve to cheat and win; however, the usage of the acronym ACE in this context is not dishonest or deceitful in the least. In fact, being sure to attend to ACE in terms of daily life actually requires a very honest, open reflection for very well-intentioned aims. When things feel off or dysregulated, it can be helpful to look at whether the balance of accomplishments, connections, and enjoyments is reasonably unbalanced. Have you been avoiding important tasks? Have you been feeling disconnected from people you like? Have you not had downtime in a while? Figuring out what might be missing or what is getting in the way of the balance can be a decisive action in times of difficulty or distress. Using the ACE up your sleeve actually helps us ace our days and feel like we are having more winning in life.